iamaproductofme

Jokes-Tips-Advice Things have been strained between me and the wife recently, earlier she said:
“Grrrr, rooar, grrrr…”
I know things are bad, she’s bearly talking to me.

Jokes-Tips-Advice How do you stop moles from digging up your garden?
Hide the spades!

Jokes-Tips-Advice I just bought a Muzzle for my pet Duck…
I hope it fits the Bill.

Jokes-Tips-Advice Last night I came home drunk and waxed lyrical in front of my girlfriend.
Wouldn’t be so bad, but ‘Lyrical’ is her cat.

Jokes-Tips-Advice What do you call a pig with Aspergers?
Socially porkward.

Jokes-Tips-Advice The wife and I came to blows the other night over angry dolphins.
I think we were talking about cross porpoises.

Jokes-Tips-Advice Took my dog to the vets because it refused to eat it’s food and started eating nothing but veggies.
Turns out it’s a rabbit.

Jokes-Tips-Advice My new girlfriend said she loved her creature comforts.
So I skinned her cat and made a lovely hat for her.