iamaproductofme

Jokes-Tips-Advice BBC News: Hound Dog songwriter dies age 78.
Isn’t that suppose to be 325 years?

Jokes-Tips-Advice I just got a lifetime ban from the zoo!
Turns out when they say “kids go free” doesn’t mean I should release the goats from the petting zoo!

Jokes-Tips-Advice I love throwing things at the fan and watching them fly across the room. Thats why im not allowed to touch the cat anymore.

Jokes-Tips-Advice My friend asked me what I thought was the best way to pick up chicks.
I suggested a hand beneath their webbed feet and one behind their back for support.
NB Chicks don’t have webbed feet; they’re not water foul

Jokes-Tips-Advice My mate was hosting a chicken football tournament on his farm and he asked me along to spectate
I didn’t stay long though. The matches were rubbish. It was just fowl after fowl

Jokes-Tips-Advice I was walking down the street earlier when a baby cat ran into the road straight into the path of a car – the driver didn’t even stop – just kept on driving.
Kitten Run.

Jokes-Tips-Advice The Yanks have decided to bomb Downing Street now David Cameron has a cat. They think they’ve found weapons of mouse destruction.

Jokes-Tips-Advice When I was younger I asked my mum “What do you do if your cat dies?”
To which she said “You can either bury it or call the RSPCA and they take it away for you”
to this day I’ll never know why anyone would want to re-home a dead cat.