iamaproductofme

Jokes-Tips-Advice I went to London and got myself a turtleneck the other day.
And a life-time ban from Sea Life.

Jokes-Tips-Advice My cat keeps beating me at Pac Man.
To be fair, he did start with 9 lives.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I wonder if camels ever look down at their toes and think “oh my god that looks like a……??”

Jokes-Tips-Advice My mate spends all his time in the garden and really has green fingers!
He’s a frog.

Jokes-Tips-Advice Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a
woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms
that she did not want to hear their message, and slammed the door in
their faces.
To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced
back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the
door again with the same result — the door bounced back open.
Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door,
she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when
one of them said,
“Ma’am, before you do that again you need to move your cat.”

Jokes-Tips-Advice I got into a fight in the vets waiting room today when my badger bit someone.
I got a cut above my eye and a fat lip, but you should see the otter guy.

Jokes-Tips-Advice Whats about 7 inches long a little bit furry usually only comes out at night and likes my girlfriend?
My new hamster

Jokes-Tips-Advice I went coursing with my dog, Alopecia, today. She came back after 3 hours.
Still no hare.