iamaproductofme

Jokes-Tips-Advice I pushed a farmers pig off the road away from an oncoming car today.
Really saved his bacon.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I saw a seahorse for the first time in my life today.
Somebody flooded the stables.

Jokes-Tips-Advice A man walks into a pub with his dog and bets the barman 500 that the dog can talk. The barman takes him up on the offer thinking the man was mad. So he says to his dog “What is on the top of a house?” and the dog says “ROOF!” then the man says “whats my wifes name?” then the dog says “RUTH! then the man asks “what is the most important person on a football pitch?” and the dog says “REF!” Needless to say the barman throws them both out and as they’re laying on the pavement the dog looks at the owner and says “Defender?”

Jokes-Tips-Advice What’s yellow and tastes of bananas?
Monkey sick.

Jokes-Tips-Advice People often ask me why I find wild pigs uninteresting.
To be honest they just boar me.

Jokes-Tips-Advice Two dogs are having a walk through the park. One turns to the other and says…
“Do you use a rubber when you make love?”
To which the other replies:
“Yeah d’you Rex?”

Jokes-Tips-Advice When playing paper, rock, scissors against a dog, always go with scissors.

Jokes-Tips-Advice My six-year-old got savaged by two greyhounds last night.
You can’t really blame the dogs – he has a hare lip.