animals-insects

Jokes-Tips-Advice We’ve been given a 2011 calendar from the local takeaway. My girlfriend said “Quick give it here, I want to see what day my birthday’s on next year”.
After she finished she asked “Do you want to check what day yours is on?”
“There’s no need” I replied “my birthday is the 9th of June every year”.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I was on Masterchef yesterday when John Torode came over to taste my meal.
When John put a fork full of food into his mouth he said, “Wow! I can taste the tender shredded chicken which is making my taste buds explode, followed by that rich stock combined with soy sauce. Then you have the crisp spring onion which explodes absolutely brilliantly with that stunning fresh sweet corn. Fantastic! What do you call it?”
“Pot noodle, in a bowl.”