animals-insects

Jokes-Tips-Advice My girlfriend is an idiot.
She says I play my Xbox too much because I named my headset; ‘Mike’.

Jokes-Tips-Advice In a cake shop with my daughter: “Daddy, can you buy me a strawberry tart?”
“No, you’ll end up getting fat like your mum.”
She thought about this for a while. “But mummy’s not fat.”
“Yes she is – you’re adopted.”