iamaproductofme

Jokes-Tips-Advice Why is there no mouse flavoured cat food?

Jokes-Tips-Advice A guy in the pub said he would buy me drinks all night, if I could make his dog do what I told it to.
So I threw it on the fire and shouted, “Get off”.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I was sitting in the park with my girlfriend watching the sun go down, when my mate came walking over with a cheeky smile on his face.
“You two lovebirds.” he laughed.
I said, “Indeed, our favourite is the Greenfinch.”

Jokes-Tips-Advice I call my dog Herpes.
He just won’t heel.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I love freebees.
Good thing the keeper next door had a heart attack.

Jokes-Tips-Advice The government is now saying that all dogs will have to be chipped. A spokesman for the Korean community said that this was great news

Jokes-Tips-Advice I’m trying my best to shake this annoying bird who keeps tweeting me.

Jokes-Tips-Advice What do you call a dog who starts bringing dead birds home?
A copycat.