iamaproductofme

Jokes-Tips-Advice Pet owners: Rats make ideal ‘large print’ mice for short-sighted cats

Jokes-Tips-Advice Just read the booklet to claim Jobseeker’s Allowance. Without a word of a lie, it says at the bottom “If you need help to read this booklet, please call (this number)”.
To be honest, if you need help to read that booklet, there isn’t a chance that you’re getting a job anyway.

Jokes-Tips-Advice What do you call a spider with no legs?
A currant.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I think my puppy may have a sore throat,
He’s a little huskey.

Jokes-Tips-Advice Can we not just settle this once and for all and give Paul the Octopus two boxes?
White and black.

Jokes-Tips-Advice Africa, the only place in the world where you get a pint of flies and your beer lands in it

Jokes-Tips-Advice A bear walks into a bar and goes, “I’ll have…………….. a beer, please.”
The barman says, “Sure, but why the big pause?”
The bear replies: “I’ve got Alzheimer’s.”

Jokes-Tips-Advice I’m black and I live in a purely white area, but this isn’t a problem, in fact the community is very close and in hard times we all come together to see it through.
I’m a penguin, and I’m against racism.