iamaproductofme

Jokes-Tips-Advice A lizard is reported to have escaped tonight from London Zoo.
Police are monitoring the situation

Jokes-Tips-Advice ive just thought, chicken legs are a chickens legs and chicken wings are a chickens wings, i am never eating chicken nuggets again !!

Jokes-Tips-Advice What’s the difference between a bird and a fly?
A bird can fly, a fly can’t bird.

Jokes-Tips-Advice My wife’s chihuahua took a nasty dump on the carpet and I stepped on it.
Now I gotta get a new one before she gets home.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I bought a chameleon from the pet shop the other day
I haven’t seen it since

Jokes-Tips-Advice Years ago I bought, as he described it, ‘the World’s biggest horse’ from Jeremy Beadle.
Although I’m not sure his measurement of 45 hands was entirely accurate.

Jokes-Tips-Advice How do you know if a police horse is lame.
Its hooves go Good Clop, Bad Clop.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I phoned up the vet and said, “I am rather concerned about my pet, Millie. Every time the postman comes to my house, she barks.”
The vet said, “Don’t worry about it, it is very normal for dogs to bark at postmen.”
I said, “I know that, but Millie is my cat.”