iamaproductofme

Jokes-Tips-Advice There are two cows in a field. Which one is on holiday?
The one with the wee calf.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I had a dog: half-pit bull, half-poodle.
Not much of a guard dog, but a vicious gossip.

Jokes-Tips-Advice Just before Christmas last year my gran was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, it was terrible news to get just before the festive season, but on the plus side I’ve got her the same present this year.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I was at the beach when I saw a bloke with a donkey and a sign reading “Rides from 2.50”
So I paid my money and jumped on.
We got about halfway down the promenade and I was loving it. I didn’t want it to end but he said he had to get back to his donkey.

Jokes-Tips-Advice – Why do tigers live on their own whereas lions live in prides?
– Because Lions aren’t ginger.

Jokes-Tips-Advice Saying that my cat died of natural causes is just a nice way of saying he got stuck in a tree and froze to death.

Jokes-Tips-Advice So in 50 year we won’t be able to see penguins unless it’s on television due to climate change.
The more things change, the more they stay the same then.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I thought I’d found a 9-legged spider today.
Turned out to be an ordinary spider with an erection.