Jokes-Tips-Advice

Jokes-Tips-Advice Do ya know what I don’t understand. Why dont they use the glue from post it notes for sticking the lids down on ready meals so that you can actually get into them.
Then they could use the glue from the ready meals packaging for something useful, such as adhesive bonding for repairing cracks in bridges and high-rise buildings

Jokes-Tips-Advice Why are blondes like cornflakes?
Because they’re simple, easy, and they taste good.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I was sitting on the sofa with my wife last night.
I said, “Do you fancy going out for something to eat, my treat?”
She said, “Yeah, that would be nice”.
I said, “Great, here’s a tenner, get me a kebab and get yourself whatever you want”.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I made a large fiddle out of rotten cheese. It’s a fetid cello

Jokes-Tips-Advice The back of a packet of Walkers crisps now reads:
Now with no Artificial colourings, flavours or crisps!

Jokes-Tips-Advice Looks like there is a heatwave in London at the moment. Someone’s double decker has melted in the middle of the road.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I saw a farmer in a field playing a board game on a pig.
I asked him “what game are you playing?”
“Backgammon” he replied.

Jokes-Tips-Advice When I saw mmutton on the menu tonight, I had to ask whether it was a typo or an adult llama-based dish.