Jokes-Tips-Advice

Jokes-Tips-Advice I’ve just split up a fight between a lemon and a lime.
They’re such bitter rivals.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I’m just off to the pharmacy because I’m going to make a salad with bacon bits.
I need plasters for my pet pig.

Jokes-Tips-Advice “Ear of corn, head of lettuce, eye of potato!” cackled the vegan witch whilst she stirred her boiling cauldron.

Jokes-Tips-Advice My new girlfriend just gagged while trying to seductively eat a banana.
She’s dead to me.

Jokes-Tips-Advice Put tomato sauce in my eyes today.
In Heinz sight that properly wasn’t a good idea

Jokes-Tips-Advice I’ve just been round to Delia Smith’s house for dinner. After a cracking meal she brought out her famous “Menopause sponge cake”
I was disappointed though as it was extremely dry… I dunno, maybe she’d ran out of eggs.

Jokes-Tips-Advice A man walks into a restaurant and notices Lobster Tails for a quid on the menu.
He asks the waiter: “What’s wrong with them?”
Waiter says: “Nothing, freshly caught today.” So the man orders some,
The waiter returns with a book, sits down and says: “Once upon a time, there was a big red lobster…”

Jokes-Tips-Advice It may be that Tropicana is the favourite breakfast drink of New Yorkers, But lets be honest, How many Americans actually wake up and think to themselves, ‘I’m going to have a natural fruit drink today?’