food-and-drink

Jokes-Tips-Advice Metro Headline this week: “MONKEYS COULD BE TRAINED TO SIT TODAYS A LEVELS”
Ok, this might be new to me – but how many monkeys are there in the world who can read and write, discounting the Jackson family?
More to the point, even if said monkeys *could* read and write, I’d love to see one try and interpret Shakespeare.
So no, Metro, A monkey couldn’t.

Jokes-Tips-Advice Christmas is coming the goose is getting fat,
Please put a tenner in the old man’s hat,
If you have’nt got a tenner, then a fiver will do,
If you haven’t got a fiver,
Then feel free to come to Britain and get everything paid for you.