Jokes-Tips-Advice “What am I going to do?” cried my tearful elderly relative. “My winter allowance won’t cover my gas bill?”
“But it is rather large, have you had the heating on full blast or something?” I exclaimed.
“Hardly at all, I’ve just cooked a few puddings and stuff for some people,” she sniffled.
“But the bill’s nearly 43 grand!” I scoffed. “Just how many puddings have you been making Aunt Bessie?”

Jokes-Tips-Advice So Holly Willoughby has named her new baby Belle.
Bit cheesy if you ask me.

Jokes-Tips-Advice Hear about the new fast-food restaurant that has opened in Bradford?
It’s called Burka King.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I saw a bloke today with a sign that said, “Will Work For Food.”
So I gave him a coconut.

Jokes-Tips-Advice When I found out my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.

Jokes-Tips-Advice Whoever decided that a one inch mars bar should be called ‘fun size’ needs to seriously re-examine their standards for entertainment.

Jokes-Tips-Advice What do you get if you cross an egg and sperm?
An omelette you probably shouldn’t eat.

Jokes-Tips-Advice “And what’s the lady having?” asked the waiter, whilst my wife was in the toilet.
“I don’t know” I replied. “Probably a wee”.