Jokes-Tips-Advice Hamburgers – beef does all the work, pork gets all the credit.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I love my job. Colleagues have been writing names on the food in the office fridge – I am currently eating a yoghurt called Debbie. How cute!

Jokes-Tips-Advice When I got home from work today I asked the wife what she put on my sandwiches
“Crab paste, dear,” she replied.
“Crab paste?” I replied. “Where did you get that from?”
“The Chemist,” she replied.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I’ve been advised to stop eating fish, on medical grounds.
Apparently I’m putting off the others in the waiting room.

Jokes-Tips-Advice Yahoo News
“Orange signs iPhone deal with Apple”
That has to be the healthiest headline ever.

Jokes-Tips-Advice My mate asked if I wanted to join his religious sect where they worship a probiotic drink.
I said, “I’m not interested in Yakult.”

Jokes-Tips-Advice I recently bought a bottle of brown sauce which carried the warning ‘Do not use if seal is broken’.
As soon as I opened it, the seal broke, immediately rendering it unusable. I was wondering, how many other innocent shoppers, especially pensioners have fallen for this evil scam?

Jokes-Tips-Advice I was eating a packet of Walker’s crisps the other day: Stephen Fry’s Fry Up flavour. The first crisp tasted just like sausages, the second tasted exactly like eggs with tomato ketchup, but what did the third crisp taste of?
Trick question: of course there was no third crisp.