Jokes-Tips-Advice My wife says I spend too much time on Facebook.
According to her wall post, anyway.

Jokes-Tips-Advice 3 mobile call centers.

Jokes-Tips-Advice Ever since I got an Iphone I’ve missed the sound of turning pages in the bathroom..

Jokes-Tips-Advice Wife was intrigued When she opened up her Birthday Present today.
She Asked For Something with diamonds.
I got her a pack of Playing cards.
You should have seen the look on her face when i told her they were fit for royalty.

Jokes-Tips-Advice When I go to delete an app on my Iphone and they’re shaking, it always makes me feel guilty, its almost like they’re all anxious about who’s getting axed.

Jokes-Tips-Advice “Thank you for calling the Freedom of Speech hotline where we believe that it is every persons right to voice their opinions without fear of recrimination”.
“Calls may be monitored”.

Jokes-Tips-Advice My phone contract was a con. It stated that for 20 a month I would get 5000 texts.
It’s been 8 months now and I’ve not received a single text.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I recently won the award for funniest Sickipedian.
When the trophy was presented to me, I spotted my African girlfriend in the audience. She was on her feet cheering.
Afterwards i sent her a text saying ‘thanks for the cheer’ using predictive texting,
…BIG mistake