Jokes-Tips-Advice I told my mate I was going to the nearby shop. He asked me to get him a chocolate bar while I was there.
“What kind of chocolate bar?” I asked.
“Just get me a Galaxy” He replied.
He wasn’t impressed when I got back and gave him a Milky Way.

Jokes-Tips-Advice When I was younger, I use to spit, but now I swallow.
It’s funny how you get used to Brussel Sprouts

Jokes-Tips-Advice I fancied some tea the other day.
Boy, it sure is difficult to walk through Tesco with a hard on.

Jokes-Tips-Advice BBC Sport: Liverpool Ponder Chinese Takeover.
I can sympathise, the decision between a Chinese or an Indian is the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.

Jokes-Tips-Advice Mexican Food:
It’s all the same just folded differently.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I looked at an item of food the other day to look at the ingredients. I looked on the bottom and it said “Do not turn container upside down.”
Bit too late for that.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I’ve just had an Irish coffee.
Tea.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I’ve had so much coffee that I got halfway to work this morning before I realised I forgot my car.