Jokes-Tips-Advice I told my wife that I was going to take her out for an anniversary meal tonight and she said, “What, McDonald’s?”
I couldn’t believe she thinks I’m so cheap. We’re going to Burger King.

Jokes-Tips-Advice On wafer packets how do they describe how thin the wafer is?

Jokes-Tips-Advice When I was in Thailand, I saw a place where you could eat the brain of a freshly killed monkey for 200 Baht.
I’ve never been so appalled in my life.
Thats nearly four quid.

Jokes-Tips-Advice Thousands of people in the Greek town Marathon have had to leave their houses due to the town being surronded by fire!
The mayor of Marathon , Spyros Zagaris commented that this was just another attempt by the government to try to rename the town to “Snickers”.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I went outside this morning and a cup fell out of the sky and smashed on my head.. and then another cup smashed on the floor in front of me and another one on my shoulder. I went back inside the house and my girlfriend said “what’s the weather like?”
“It’s a bit muggy!” I said.

Jokes-Tips-Advice BBC News: London restaurant sells breast milk ice cream named Baby Gaga.
With a name like that I’m not convinced it’s just breast milk in there.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I told my wife to make me a sandwich and she responded snarkily, “I’ll make you a sandwich when pigs fly”.
I threw her off the top of the roof a half hour ago, and still haven’t got my sandwich.

Jokes-Tips-Advice If a vegetarian becomes a Zombie…do they only eat people in comas?