Jokes-Tips-Advice My mates a Ski instructor….
He teaches people to eat yoghurts safely.

Jokes-Tips-Advice Went to Mc Donalds today and had one of their 1955 burgers.
Only another 1954 to go

Jokes-Tips-Advice The boss gave me a wink the other day & said ‘I’ve put a little extra in your pay packet this week.’
To be honest, it was a bit of a let down.
I don’t like Spearmint.

Jokes-Tips-Advice So my wife sent me to go get “organic” vegetables from the supermarket. So I go up to one of the kids in the veggie section and I say:
“Do you know if any of these have pesticides on them?”
“Pesticides?” he asked.
“You know, poison that they spray on the plants. I need some veggies for the wife,” I said.
“Oh, uh… you’ll have to do that yourself.”

Jokes-Tips-Advice I got Ainsley Harriot’s ‘Friends and Family Cookbook’ for Christmas. I was a bit disappointed with it though, I quickly got bored of most of his recipes. To be fair though, there’s only so much you can make with a bunch of bananas.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I’ve just been in McDonald’s and asked for the ‘New Orleans Deluxe’ from the Taste of America menu.
They gave me a drink.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I Am proud that I always have my Five fruit-a-day.
Half a pack of Starburst!

Jokes-Tips-Advice Whats the difference between a black woman and Marmite?
I would lick out a jar of Marmite