Jokes-Tips-Advice A Sub has reached Earth’s deepest place.
Plans for a Big Mac to climb Mount Everest have already begun.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I saw a mate come out of a burger bar with a new coat that was 5 sizes to big for him.
“What’s with the coat?” I asked.
“I’m not quite sure,” he replied. “I just asked for a Big Mac.”

Jokes-Tips-Advice I live life on the edge.
Just this afternoon I ate a piping hot bowl of soup with a fork.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I took a girl to a bar on our first date last night.
I asked her what she wanted to drink.
She said, “Champagne, I guess.”
“Guess again!” I said.

Jokes-Tips-Advice Why can’t penguins fly?
Because they’re biscuits!

Jokes-Tips-Advice A guy goes into his local bank and says to the manager, “I’d like to borrow 100,000 to open a cheese factory in Cheshire. It’s gonna be great.”
“Wow, hold on a minute”, says the bank manager. “There’s already a company called Cheshire Cheese – you’re gonna have to come up with something better than that.”
The guy comes back next week, and says, “Right I’ve got it. I want to borrow 200,000 to open a cheese factory in France. It’s gonna be called Brie Cheese.”
“I’m afraid that one’s already there too,” says the bank manager. “Brie Cheese is world famous, so I can’t lend you the money for that.”
In a last ditch attempt, the man comes back in the following week. “Right”, says the man, “I’ve got it. I want to borrow 500,000 to open a cheese factory in Israel.”
“Oh, now we’re talking,” says the bank manager. “What are you going to call it?”
The man smiles proudly and says, “Cheeses of Nazareth.”

Jokes-Tips-Advice I’m having dinner in a Greek restaurant, so hopefully a German will be able to pay for it.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I got myself a recipe book for roadkill. I tried one of the recipes and surprisingly it was quite delicious.
It didn’t explain what to do with his bike though.