Jokes-Tips-Advice Shamefully, I have to admit, it only takes me one drink to get drunk.
The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

Jokes-Tips-Advice I used to love licking the whisk after Mum made cakes, so I let my kids do the same.
Thinking back, I reckon when I was young, my parents must’ve unplugged it first.

Jokes-Tips-Advice A lady at the supermarket asked me if I’ve ever drunk orange juice with pulp.
I said, “No, but I once had coffee with The Bluetones.”

Jokes-Tips-Advice I sell drugs to fat people.
It sounds better than, “I work at McDonald’s.”

Jokes-Tips-Advice Aero; why would having less chocolate taste better?

Jokes-Tips-Advice What exactly does rubberduckzilla think the main ingredient of Oasis is?

Jokes-Tips-Advice I see that they now make Heinz Beans in little plastic pots….
It’s uncanny.

Jokes-Tips-Advice Handjobs are like Pepsi.
Never your first choice but you’ll take it anyway.